Invisible Adversities: Social Anxiety by Gabe Canfield

  The question we all ask ourselves on the journeys we take - why am I here? But, for me, it’s the anxiety that challenges my choices more than my conscience does. Social anxiety is a pain, and with a life of activism such as my own, it unmistakably solidifies its place in my every move. There are many of us out there with this invisible yet incredibly powerful barrier to the life of advocacy we are drawn to. The space that anxiety takes up is a constant battle between my determination and drive and the voices questioning the actions I should take. It’s quite a contradiction and more of a battle than the activism itself, but manageable when you’re facing forward and taking care of yourself inward. 

            Social anxiety occupies the space in your head that ‘protects’ you from the dangers of people and society ready to tear you down at any moment. The supposed dangers are these barriers, invisible for the fact that they are fabricated. But what is your way forward without speaking out? Your voice is your power and social anxiety feels like a measure to hold that voice back, a means of oppression coming from within. The key is to empower your voice in ways that don’t shut you down. My written words are my power because I can be heard without the barriers that otherwise hold me back. But what if writing isn’t your medium?

            I found that writing only goes so far and that it really takes connections between people, and the guidance of friends to get advocacy going. This is the inward care: to care for your family, your friends and yourself. Self care means love, it means build ups after breakdowns, it means sharing thoughts but it also means self reflection - free of destructive thoughts. There can only be balance because without it, burnout returns much quicker. Your activism, advocacy, and your power will express itself in the ways it is able but can grow with the ways you equip yourself. Sometimes exposure works, and sometimes it sure as hell doesn’t when you realize that the protest you attended broke your social energy the week that followed. It’s trial and error, but social anxieties’ worst enemy is expression. 

I can’t (and truly none of us can) let anxiety get in the way of things that matter because we all care and strive for something. Taking that social anxiety battle on is a part of caring for our lives because we’re fighting a battle just to thrive. The activism and advocacy world feels imperative - but it will always feel that way. Anxiety shouldn’t.